Good Morning,

I have a two year old son. His father and I were never married and split shortly after my son's birth. He refused to sign for his son and is not listed on the birth certificate. He does pay court ordered maintenance although he is a bit behind. He has another one year old son with the woman he is currently living with.

My problem is that he often shows up drunk at my house in the early hours of the morning. This has been an ongoing issue for the past two years. On Saturday morning (26 October 2019) he again showed up at 2 am. He threatened to drive through the complex gate unless I open for him. I eventually ceded as I don't want to lose my home due to disruptions. I let him sleep in my sons bed since my son was visiting his grandparents. I had to leave at 6am to collect my son and asked him to leave before I left, he refused. I put his things outside in an effort to get him out. He picked up my son's puppy and threatened to kill him. I eventually got the puppy back and locked myself in the house. 

This is not the first time something like this has happened, I phoned the police previously and the gentleman insisted I not raise a case against him. He has also parked outside my house overnight when I wouldn't let him in. He has threatened to kill me if I ever took another man. I am afraid but I only have his word against mine.

I let him have supervised visitation on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6pm but he hardly ever shows up and then blames me saying I chose a time that doesnt suit him (he works 8am-4:30pm). Visitation is not court ordered, I am just trying to do the right thing.

After this last incident I don't feel comfortable having my young son around him. What are my options to limit contact between, not just him and my son, but also between him and I? What are the repercussions if I just refuse? Should I go to the police about the previous incident?

Please help...

Regards,

Amelia van Deventer