Asked by the Customer on 01-01-2014 11:00:00
Question posted in the General Law category relating to Free State
Question posted in the General Law category relating to Free State
Good day. I will try to keep this short.
My ex-wife gets a very big salary, and also did so at the time we got divorced, which is about 5 years ago. Even though my salary is not little and is enough not to have financial troubles, the fact remains that her salary is about 5 times mine. We had one child out of the marriage for who I do pay maintenance, school fees and medical aid. I also have to buy clothes, school clothes etc even while it was not stipulated in the settlement agreement. I know I can refuse, but in order not to make things difficult and to continue to see my son as regularly as I currently do, I just pay up. While she was still studying I was the sole provider and helped her to pay off her study dept, even after she started to earn her own salary.
My questions/concerns:
1. Is she not supposed to pay me spousal support? Seeing our vast difference in disposable income. When you read in the newspapers about couples divorcing, the one that has the most money always has to pay the other person a certain agreed upon amount. Even if there are no children involved. It has to do with you have to live to about the same standards of living you were accustomed to before the divorce. We were married 8 years if that makes a difference.
2. Can a case be re-opened after all this time if it is found I was treated unfairly by my lawyer at the time? Or even if information was perhaps withheld from me?
3. I do have a mail between my lawyer and myself stating ‘’it does not work like this in SA’’ It was years ago but I’m sure I have a copy of the mail somewhere. I know I should have gotten a second opinion that time, but believe me, I was in a very sad mood as I had no idea of her intention to ask for a divorce. It came like a thief in the night.
Now I do feel she worked and studied hard for what she has achieved, and she deserves all her wealth. It’s not her fault I don’t earn my own big salary, but now the problem for me is that my child who is 9 years old now begins to feel sorry for me . My child asked me ''why can't I also live in a beautiful house with a swimming pool like my mother'' That broke my heart. He looks in disgust at my place as it can't start to compare with his mother's. She drives 3 brand new cars that have all been bought in a period of 6 months. I can't see why I must pay her even a cent, seeing her solid financial situation. I did not think about this before but after my child's words, I could see the reason for spousal supports existence… My child lives in complete luxury at his mother, but with me he must be satisfied with much much less. He looks at me differently now because of that and I fear it might even do something in the long run to his self confidence, etc.
Do I have a case if I could ask for spousal allowance? I feel people earning less money than her does indeed pay spousal support. I believe I was cheated out of a possible additional income, that I feel I deserve as that could have been used to make it more acceptable for my son by increasing my living standards. Now he must see his father as a failure as compared to his mother. That to me I feel is just criminal.
My ex-wife gets a very big salary, and also did so at the time we got divorced, which is about 5 years ago. Even though my salary is not little and is enough not to have financial troubles, the fact remains that her salary is about 5 times mine. We had one child out of the marriage for who I do pay maintenance, school fees and medical aid. I also have to buy clothes, school clothes etc even while it was not stipulated in the settlement agreement. I know I can refuse, but in order not to make things difficult and to continue to see my son as regularly as I currently do, I just pay up. While she was still studying I was the sole provider and helped her to pay off her study dept, even after she started to earn her own salary.
My questions/concerns:
1. Is she not supposed to pay me spousal support? Seeing our vast difference in disposable income. When you read in the newspapers about couples divorcing, the one that has the most money always has to pay the other person a certain agreed upon amount. Even if there are no children involved. It has to do with you have to live to about the same standards of living you were accustomed to before the divorce. We were married 8 years if that makes a difference.
2. Can a case be re-opened after all this time if it is found I was treated unfairly by my lawyer at the time? Or even if information was perhaps withheld from me?
3. I do have a mail between my lawyer and myself stating ‘’it does not work like this in SA’’ It was years ago but I’m sure I have a copy of the mail somewhere. I know I should have gotten a second opinion that time, but believe me, I was in a very sad mood as I had no idea of her intention to ask for a divorce. It came like a thief in the night.
Now I do feel she worked and studied hard for what she has achieved, and she deserves all her wealth. It’s not her fault I don’t earn my own big salary, but now the problem for me is that my child who is 9 years old now begins to feel sorry for me . My child asked me ''why can't I also live in a beautiful house with a swimming pool like my mother'' That broke my heart. He looks in disgust at my place as it can't start to compare with his mother's. She drives 3 brand new cars that have all been bought in a period of 6 months. I can't see why I must pay her even a cent, seeing her solid financial situation. I did not think about this before but after my child's words, I could see the reason for spousal supports existence… My child lives in complete luxury at his mother, but with me he must be satisfied with much much less. He looks at me differently now because of that and I fear it might even do something in the long run to his self confidence, etc.
Do I have a case if I could ask for spousal allowance? I feel people earning less money than her does indeed pay spousal support. I believe I was cheated out of a possible additional income, that I feel I deserve as that could have been used to make it more acceptable for my son by increasing my living standards. Now he must see his father as a failure as compared to his mother. That to me I feel is just criminal.
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