Asked by Anonymous on 28-10-2023 07:16:31
Question posted in the General Law category relating to Gauteng

Good day sir.

I just want to find out. I was in  a romantic relationship with a married man for 7 years. I borrowed him a sum of money of R40 000 to pay for his lagal affairs in 2019 he then in 2022 asked me to borrow him again R30 000. He promised to pay it back.

Now he cheated with another woman which makes him a habitual cheater. I found out and I confronted him. I have a record of him discussing that event he promised to leave the other woman.

Only to find that he is still continuing with his affair. I found out again in June then I collected all the pictures, the conversations. I broke up with him he continue persisting that we stay in this relationship.

I then asked him to pay my R70 000 he went silent on me. I gave him 33 days to do so. Then on a day 33 I tried phoning him but he never picked up my calls. I sent him a text saying I need my money or else I inform the wife. Of which that happened. I texted the wife with all the evidence pictures and voice records of us.

He now accuse me of his wife being hospitalized and threaten to sue me and report me to be removed in a department I'm working for. I have a voice recording where we were addressing his cheating ways.

My ask is does he have a case against me.

Further information relating to Question:

Now he threatens to make me pay for the damages my messages were to his marriage and to report me to the department I am working for so I loose my job

Posted by Att. Patrick on 28-10-2023 11:52:17

Hi there and thank you for your question,

I am a practicing attorney based in South Africa and I will assist you with your question. Please feel free to ask as many follow up questions in order to clarify your question. If you have a new question, you must please open a new thread.

Please keep in mind that our discussions is for general information purposes only. Our engagement on this website does not create an attorney-client relationship. 

Do you mind if I take a moment to review your question? I will come back to you shortly!

In the interim, what outcome do you envision at this point based on what you've said above?

Att. Patrick

Posted by Att. Patrick on 29-10-2023 09:47:08

I'm really sorry to hear what you've been going through.

The answer to your question is a straight "NO", he does not have any claim against you for his wife being hospitalized (if she even was hospitalized, which I doubt) because if she had a bit of a breakdown and ended up being hospitalized, it was because HE was cheating on the wife. You merely exposed him for what he did.

There is no claim that she has in terms of our common law, and also no claim in accordance with any legislation.

Honestly, I think that he is just trying to scare you in an attempt to keep you quiet and not say anything else. He is obviously in the mode of 'protecting his family' and he will probably say anything to you to protect his family and get rid of you.

You still would have a claim against him for the return of your money which you lent him. Unfortunately, if he does not repay you, you'll then need to go to the magistrates court and issue a summons against him.   

He further sent me this message. Is he even allowed to do so?

When you are in no way party to the conversation. Being party to the conversation is if you are the sender, the recipient, or any person included in the communication.
Exception: RICA permits recordings carried out by law enforcement personnel in certain circumstances.

3 actions awaiting for you based on the above.

I will be consulting my attonies tomorrow to advise me of legal action against you with the recording including sectual recording and pictures sent to my wife as a third party without my consent.
My brother, as a former principal, advised me to report this to the department of education and with your ID number, ? he will assist me. He advised that It will be easy to get your department as well as your school address.
I will drive next week to your school with all the recordings and pictures and show all to your principal that as a girlfriend who knew I'm married, you recorded the sectual activities without my concernt and sent them to my wife who was depressed and got admitted. You also recorded our conversation without my consent.
I did not know you are so devilish.

Posted by Att. Patrick on 30-10-2023 08:34:31

More threats from him. Do not feel threatened by him. He is clearly acting out. 

If you are a party to the conversation, you can record it. The recording is legal. You are entitled to use that recording however you want. You can share that recording with a third party, because the recording belongs to you. 

If I have a conversation with Bob, and I record it, I am legally allowed to share that recording with Peter. That's the law. 

However if Bob and Peter have a conversation, and I secretly record them, then that recording is illegal.  

Good day.
Today I received this email from him:

Please note, I also forwarded to my legal team the communication where you made it clear that the person in hospital was premeditated as a revenge, if you can re-read your last WhatsApp.
You said check mate. I thought you were meaning because you did not get your money on time, then you destroyed my wife, my life and family as you did. I don’t understand when you are still asking me when am I going to pay your money? After so much damage? In the real fact, I was prepared, and I was hoping we are aligned with the issues at hand. With R70K, you destroyed me, my wife and my family. If that was the case, you should have also calculated a lot of money I normally assist you with when you were still looking for the job and when you were not yet getting paid, transporting you up and down for interviews.
My attorneys are working on this case and it is very serious. I was also advised not to use my brother to get to your address and your employers but use the legal means.
My attorneys have advised me that they are still studying the case, and should they see the prospect of success, they will use their legal rights to demand the information of your employer and the address.

My surprise is that it was only one interview that I went with him. Yes he was assisting me financially but I was doing the same to him I have bank statements as proof of that

Posted by Att. Patrick on 01-11-2023 09:17:21

I don't really believe that his legal team is working on this case. Like I said before, I think that he is really just trying to scare you. I don't see how he has a case against you at all. 

How can his attorneys already be working on the case "and it is very serious", but then at the same time he says that "his attorneys have advised me that they are still studying the case, and should they see the prospect of success, they will use their legal rights to demand the information of your employer and the address."

It is all threats and rubbish!