Asked by the Customer on 26-06-2016 00:40:21
Question posted in the Divorce Law category relating to KwaZulu-Natal

I was married for four days and then told he wants a divorce. For 12 years I was a single mom struggling to cope and raising my child for her dad passed away when she was about 3 years. Anyway I had my own businesses. In October 2014 I met a guy standing as a car guard at our local shop where i often stopped for bread etc. Did not see this guy there before and for he was well dressed and didn't look like he belong their I asked him where he's from and that he doesn't look like a car guard tipe, not discriminating against the car guard for me myself had to do it when i was younger to survive. Anyway I offered him a place to stay and help where I had jobs for him. After about 2 months I fell for this guy. He started to become more part of my life than i expected. He started drinking heavily. Still he's the type of person that i couldn't say no to. I had a small house that my dad gave me which he inherited from his mother in order for me and my child to have a small start in life. Herman (the car guard) started to put ideas that we must sell the house and that he will build i life for us at the coast Port St Johns he will be able to farm there. In the mean time we started a garden services and started to do well. We got a electric fencing job with a complex but as soon as the deposit (R24 000) was paid in his drinking became worse. If i asked what he did with the money he became angry. Every day hes going out to the site. After about 2 weeks the body corporate of the complex phoned me and said that nothing is getting done there. Then i realized his dropping of people and sitting under a tree drinking. I was busy with the garden services during the day. Anyway i asked him to take the vehicle that his got and leave it at home and he must be gone by the time i get home. On my arrival at home i realized his clothes were gone and so the vehicle. He did not answer his phone. That vehicle was on my dads name. Anyway he stole the vehicle. This is just what this man did to me in the beginning. Every time i forgive him. it happened that i sold all my belongings and believed him to go to Port St Johns, He said my child could come after 3 months which never could happen because of his drinking. He promised he will stop because hes stressing. Sold the small house and he started spending, If i ask him to slow down there is an argument. He was like drinking a case of court beers within 2 days + a bottle of rum. He started getting abusive with words calling me a hoer, fat, ugly etc. If i talk to somebody he will call me a hoer. He started to look for arguments every day, and our love life went very bad also telling me I'm fat and smelly. Then it got physical also, As soon as the money ran out his love ran out to. He's ex girlfriend once told me that he took advantage of a couple of lady's by using there money and then leaving them. I thought she was jealous. If i only listened. Since September 2015 since the money was finished (within 3 months) our relationship is on/off. Then he wants me back and if I'm back he starts again, kicking me out on the street to survive by myself 1300 km from my family. Eventually I found myself a good job with good future, then he started crying again. One day on one day off. I couldn't take this anymore for I love him so much and every thing i invested in this relationship was to much to just let it go. So i told him I will prove my love for him and I asked him to marry me. I said to him i will wait for him at home affairs until 10 on 7 April 2016 and he must ONLY show up if he loves me to and we can start our new life fresh leaving past things behind for I can't go like this. IN or OUT. and if IN we must work on our relationship. He showed up at about 8:30 at my workplace where i stayed for a shower, I was so happy. We're getting married. Now my employer didn't want him on the premises for the past she heard we had. I told her that we might get married and she said she cant tell me what to do. The plan was that after our marriage I will move to the place that his staying about 40 km from there and after our wedding day his boss will pick us up and take us their. After the marriage the lift did not show and we had to spend the night at my room where i was employed. I had R10 000.00 of the employers money in a white envelope. I gave him about R1 400.00 of my salary to by groceries for us. He saw the money when i gave him the money for the groceries. This is my husband so why musnt i trust him. Well the lift only showed up the Monday 11 April at 14:00 and by then I had to start working also by the Sunday. He told me he's going back to make arrangements for my stuff to be taken to his place. After work Monday at about 5, I wanted to buy myself a cold drink and I had R500 of my own money lose where the R10 000.00 was. I realized the white envelope is missing. I phoned him immediately asking him about it where he got very mad at me and said he cant talk now his got a crisis with the community people. Hell I had a crisis of R10 000.00. I immediately went to our camera system and went threw every day since the Sunday morning that I last saw the envelope when i put my money there. Only me and him entering that room. He kept on saying he will call me which he didn't. The following morning i send some sms, which he did not reply anything, phoned a couple of times and eventually he answered telling me to tell them we will pay back the money. I told him how can we do that, the boss will fire me. He then sweared me and didn't want to answer the phone again. Telling me i must sort it out by myself. The day that i realized the money was gone i immediately told one of my co-workers. She said we must let the boss know. I said to her I will give him a couple of days so he can come to his senses. In the meantime he didn't make any arrangements for my stuff to be moved to his place. By Thursday/Friday the petty cash tin needed to be filled up with the money i was suppose to have, I got very scared and keep on phoning him what must i do? No reply's..... I already put in my money that was left. Eventually i phoned the boss and told her the money is stolen. She immediately send the police for me to open a case of theft. She was very upset with me for letting him stay there without them knowing and i know it was wrong. But which husband will do this to his new wife???? About a week ago I was short R100 on the tin and i had sleepless knights because of that, i immediately reported to her of the shortage. After about two days i realized that i made a stupid calculation mistake and even wats up the boss showing her how stupid I was. The policemen asked me if i trust my husband. Like i said his my husband and after starting our new life together i must. The boss returned that Saturday asking me to go there and see if i can find the money. I dint let him know i was on my way there. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me all is ok and we will get threw this. On my arrival late that evening he asked me WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I was shocked. Hell, I'm his wife and after getting married i would have expect at least welcome to your new home for this was my first time there. He went fishing that evening ignoring me. I looked everywhere in the Wendy where he was staying, still in shock of my welcome. I had to be at work on Sunday at 8, so i got a lift in with the guy his building a house for. On the way down walking with me he said: "Fuc^@#$ here and do not ever return he wants a divorce. Come on 4 DAYS!!!!! " My heart was in peaces. While driving back the guy said that he wasn't working for the whole week, nor catching any fish to sell and they saw him heavy drunk for 3 days. He said that he didn't get any money from him and he didn't go out fishing either. Now where did he get the money from. I also noticed that the groceries he bought had to be much more than R1 400.00 and he also bought himself fishing boots and new fishing equipment. My heart and whole life was shattered where it was suppose to start. On my return at work I gave feedback to the boss that I couldn't find any money. They said they will talk to me the following day. The following day they asked me to leave the premises for they cant trust me anymore due to the fact that Im now married to him which i can understand and they wanted me to leave immediately. I sms him phone him but no answer. I begged the boss to please give me one night for i don't have any place to go. They agreed. The following day I went to court for advise where a Judge there told me I've got all the right to go to him for I'm his wife. So i start making arrangements for somebody to assist me in moving my stuff. On my arrival there I was asked again WHAT AM I DOING THERE AND THAT I'M NOT WELCOME THERE AND MUST FUC#@#$ OFF. What I don't understand, a couple of days before the marriage he's dad (they are not at all on speaking terms) requested via a family friend for him to send a registered copy of his id for a trust. He was going on and on about this that they want to scam him out of money. I told him to let it go and that as long as we have each other they can take the so called trust money. I think that there is money coming available and he only realized that and what amount it is after getting married to me, why all of the sudden wants a divorce. He never was a person that wants to share his money. And after cleaning me out, I would like to know is there a way to 1) get this marriage annulled or 2) put in a claim on HIS money. What is my legal rights to this please. After being assaulted and verbally abused I found employment in Durban for a month now, so I left there for my own safety. Can you please advise me what to do? Rachel Reichel 081 855 3580 or email. ***BLOCKED-EMAIL-ADDRESS***