Good day I am currently in separation, I...

Asked by zintle.bebeza88 on 26-04-2019 15:36:57
Question posted in the Family Law category relating to Gauteng
Question value: R 300.00

Good day 

I am currently in separation, I was kicked out by my husband September last year with my 5 months old daughter and nanny. Reason for separation is that I confessed to having slept with an X while dating my husband but not yet married to him. At the time when i did this I was under tremendous stress from him as he wanted a baby but because I suffer from endometriosis it was a struggle, he used to force to have sex with me even when i was not ok. He would threaten to leave and tell me he has other wome that he loves that also love him back. I got desperate to fall pregnant that i used my X that i have a child with hoping i would fall pregnant again. My husband would ask me how i was able to conceive for my X but cant for him. So when my X called after years of disappearing i met with him but ended up sleeping with him then told him to never call me again. I told him i only slept with him because i wanted to fall pregnant so my husband would stop treating me the way he did, he was still my boyfriend at the time and not husband yet though we had talked about marriage. My X realised later on that i was finally pregnant and claimed that the child was his in conversations he had with my mother. I tried to make him see he was not the father but he refused, refused to do paternity and kept tellling me how he would one day marry me. At the time my mother told me my daughter was about 4 months old and I was married. When i confronted my X he had lots of stories, until i eventually decided to tell my husband about this claim and the night i slept with my X. 

Paternity tests were done and finally proved my husband was the father but he had already kicked us out of the apartment without giving me any notice, not even 24 hours notice. He found out he is the father January this year, I have been trying since to meet with him to discuss way forward but he has not met with me and refuses to have a parenting plan drafted. 

In February i had a depression breakdown, I had tried reaching out to him a day before i broke down and lost my voice. I sent emails, asked my sister to tell him to meet me, to a point where i got desperate to get his attention as i needed him to take the child for sometime so i could get myself together. He  refused taking the child in his response via email and I waited for him for hours to come meet us but he never came. I then sent a text to my sister saying if i did not return home the next day then I would be part of statistics of mothers who have killed their children. I sent this to her as i was at the brink of an emotional breakdown, the hurt was setting in, the pain and the embarrasment, I knew my sister would call my husband to try get him to come meet with us, but he said he was attending a work training in Sandton that Sunday and was going to be there all week he could not come to Witbank. I was not ok, I was in a lot of pain and had no intentions of harming my baby I thought he would respond if he felt she was in danger that moment. 

Now he has filed for a protection order saying i am an unstable mother and a danger to my child, I was booked off work for 3 weeks and asked to get rest and get some counselling. I stayed with my pastors for about 3 weeks as I was without a voice. I have never hurt my daughter, I have done everything possible to keep her from any danger, in his statements he has lied about other events where he was physical with me to a point where i fell on the floor with the baby but I made sure that baby was not harmed, instead i was the one who got injured. This man has unfairly treated my son, physically hurt him, while i was pregnant he made me and my son sleep outside the complex in my car the whole night. 

How do I prove that I am not a danger to my child? 

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