Hi, I need some legal advice with regards to my mother.

My name is Tamishka, I am 22 years old and I'm still studying. I live with my mother, who has been divorced for 15 years due to physical abuse from my father.

I am financially dependent on my mother while I complete my degree. In the attempt to become financially independent, or help with paying for things in the household, I have send out my cv and had multiple job interviews, of which I was not allowed to attend. My mother has prevented me from attending job interviews on more than one occasion. I have offered to get a job and help out financially at home, and also try to save up for my own things, as I have been made to feel like a burden to her. She has been emotionally and mentally abusing me for many years with regards to me being financially dependent on her, and with regards to my studies and my own personal life. I have been severely depressed and suicidal and my studies have suffered as a result. I had been seeing a psychiatrist and was prescribed medication (serdep and tegretol) which I took for a long period of time, and since then stopped due to it not agreeing with me and making me feel worse. Since then, I have not had a major depressive episode.

My mother is/was in a relationship with a man from India and had visited him on many occasions. When my mother is not at home for a long period of time, she takes me to stay with my grandmother in Port Shepstone. However on an occasion in the December of 2018, my mother went to India for the whole month and I was left alone with my grandmother. On the same property, my aunt, uncle, cousin and her husband stay in separate house. They are always around and it's very difficult to avoid them.

My cousin, who was pregnant at the time, and her husband have been spending a lot of time with me and when I was left alone with her husband, he proceeded to make advances towards me and had told me that he liked me and make me feel extremely uncomfortable, I had rejected his advances. I chose to remain silent on the issue as to keep the peace within the family. However, on an occasion where I was alone at my grandmother's house, I had messaged my cousin to please come stay with me as I didn't want to be alone. Her husband had responded to me from her phone and offered for me to come stay by them, when I refused, he continued to make advances and make me feel uncomfortable. I have the screenshots of the messages to refer to. In the screenshot he had mentioned that he won't even know what a kiss from me is like. I find the manner in which he has spoken to me, very disturbing and being around him does not make me feel safe.

I have told my mother this and have tried my best to ignore the situation and continue to visit my grandmother throughout the year of 2019.

On Saturday the 23rd of November, my mother had asked me to come with her to Port Shepstone to stay, until Monday the 25th of November. I had refused to go, as I knew she intended on leaving me there for the whole month, and explained my reason in a calm, respectful manner. To which, she had responded to in a violent manner and called my boyfriend Jarred, to tell him to speak to me as I will not listen to her. Prior to this, he did not have any knowledge of the argument that was taking place as I had not informed him. The first he had heard of this was from my mother.

She had thrown my clothes and my belongings onto the floor and proceeded to try and break my belongings. She had told me to leave her house if I do not want to come with her and attempted to kick me out of the house. She has thrown a suitcase at me and packed some of my belongings. When I attempted to stop her, she had physically abused me and left bruises on my leg and it was bleeding as well (I do have pictures of the mark and bruises she has left on me). I had grabbed her hand to prevent her from continuing and I believe there are a set of nail marks on her hand.

I decided to voice record her for my own safety (I have multiple voice recordings of her and the fbigs she has said) and proceeded to send it to Jarred to keep for me, in case my mother took my phone away and I could not access them if I needed proof for the authorities. After she had contacted him, he replied to her and she had called him multiple times after that to swear and aggrivate the situation.

She had then locked the bathroom doors to prevent me from using the facilities in the house, in the hopes to get me to leave the house so she can lock me out. I had still refused to leave due to feeling uncomfortable and I had offered to stay someplace else until she returns on Monday which she had agreed to. I had asked her to open the doors so I can please clean up and leave. While in the bathroom, she had went to my room and searched the room and then forcefully entered the bathroom and started to throw things in an attempt to take away my phone because of the recordings I have been taking. I had to get out of the shower and try to get a towel and stop her from taking the phone, her response to this was to take a picture of me while partially in my towel, and threatened to post it online because I had sent the recordings to Jarred to keep safe for me.

She had then proceeded to call multiple people and tell them that I abused her and bad mouth me and call me names. She had also told them about the pictures she took of me and how she wanted to post it to embarrass me. She had tried to lie to Jarred (boyfriend) and claim that I feel uncomfortable around his father and attempt to accuse his father of making advances towards me (in a voice recording).

I had approached her and asked her to stop her behaviour as it was unnecessary to involve many people and hurl accusations. I informed her that I will be staying with a friend until she returns, as she has said that she does not want me on her property if she is not there, and if I am there, she will call the police to remove me. There is proof that I reside there, my mail comes to that address, my belongings are there and there are multiple pictures of me around the house.

She had also called my father to tell him to go to Jarred's house, with the intention to abuse him (voice recorded) I had informed her that if she decides to go that, I will not hesitate to call the police.

She continued to verbally abuse me and emotionally abuse me by bringing up my studies, my depression and multiple other issues. She had thrown shoes at me and continued to threaten me. At this point I tried to call the police on the house phone. Which she grabbed and took away from me and cut the call. I had then gone back to my room and called the police on my cellphone to report a domestic issue. Upon hearing this, she had called my network provider to block my sim card so I could not make or receive any more calls, and cutting me off from communicating with anyone via call or sms. She had then called her friend Carol, whose husband is a detective, to tell him to sort out the call I had made. The police did not arrive to the house. Carol had come to the house and both of them had tried to force me to go to port shepstone and try to emotionally blackmail me with my grandmother not being well, and the financial support my mother has given me. I refused to go and I had agreed to go stay with my friend until Monday and had packed my bag to do so. Upon packing a backpack for the duration of 3days, I had come downstairs to them refusing to let me go to my friends house. And my mother had went upstairs and packed my things in a bag to kick me out if I refuse to come with her. I tried to pack some of my extra belongings in a bin packet to go stay with my friends until I can get proper help as I was being forced to leave the house.

Carol had proceeded to put my belongings in my mother's car and tell me to go with her because we will come back on Monday, I was forced into the car, which I tried to leave, and was brought to port shepstone. I refused to stay at my grandmother's house and instead stayed with friends instead. I have called her today (Monday) to ask her when will we be going back to Durban, and was told that she will not be bringing me back and I have to stay here until she comes back from her trip, which is unknown. I have a set of keys and will be finding transportation back to Durban to stay at home. I don't know if that will be a legal problem though. 

I have tried to speak to my mother and resolve the issues we have, however she does not wish to do so and I feel like I have no other choice but to ask for legal advice. I would appreciate it if I could be helped in any way.

Thank you